07 February 2005

Monday morning smile - here's the real can opener joke

Just to make sure we are all on the same page, here are some versions of the classic Can Opener joke.

Version 1.

Three people are stranded on a small island. One is a physicist. One is a circus strongman.  One is an economist. After a few days of surviving on fruit, they discover a cache of canned food, and they have to decide how to open it.

The physicist says to the strongman "Why don't you climb that tree, and smash the cans down on the rocks, and burst them open?"

The strongman says, "No, that would spatter the stuff all over. I can open the cans with my teeth!"

The economist says "First, we must assume that we have a can opener."

Version 2.

Two economists are trapped on an island with only a can of beans. They've tried everything they can think of to open the can of beans: sticks, rocks, their teeth, etc.

So the two economists are sitting around dejected when one of them yells, "I GOT IT!" [Remember they are economists, not grammarians]

The other economist gets excited and sits up with anticipation, the other tells him, "Let's just
assume we have a can opener!"

Version 3.

A physicist, a chemist and an economist are stranded on an island, with nothing to eat. A can of soup washes ashore. The physicist says, "Let's smash the can open with a rock." The chemist says, "Let's build a fire and heat the can first." The economist says, "Let's assume that we have a can-opener..."

and just for the variety, here is one of my all time favourite economist jokes:

It seems to capture the essence of many things.

A mathematician, an accountant, and an economist apply for the same job.

The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?" The mathematician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes, four, exactly."

Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four."
Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?"

The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?"