23 October 2006

MacKay announces Canadian troupe deployment

Foreign affairs minister Peter MacKay announced today that Canada will join other NATO countries in a troupe deployment to Afghanistan.

MacKay whose department title is no reference to his reported romantic entanglement with the American Secretary of State, said that Canada will send Cirque to Soleil to Kandahar province as part of a new effort to bring peace and stability to the central Asian nation.

"This is a deployment of troupes that is involved in interesting and important work to provide security for the development of the work that is undertaken," said MacKay.

MacKay said that in addition to the world-renowned acrobatic group, Canada will deploy the Royal Canadian Air Farce (left). The Air Farce will provide cover for the Cirque, bombing Taliban with boring sketches, semi-racist impersonations of "newfies" and a laugh track that remains the only cue to when something funny is being said.

Sources close to the defence department said that Canada rejected a short-term deployment of Trailer Park Boys fearing that the threesome would actually improve Afghan poppy and heroin production.

In related news, Britain said today it would be sending the cast of Ab Fab, the complete collection of "Are you being served?" DVDs and a Punch and Judy show from Basingstoke as part of the entertainers campaign. France is sending the road company of La cage aux folles, while Italy is sending its entire parliament as part of NATO's humour offensive in the remote mountains southeast of Kandahar.

While not officially part of NATO, Australia is said to be considering a deployment of Dame Edna.

In Brussels, senior NATO officials informally requested that Canada check the availability of Newfoundland and Labrador fish minister Tom Rideout (right). NATO planners were impressed with the gales of laughter created by Rideout's recent "fact-finding" tour of European capitals.

A senior NATO officer (left) who spoke on condition of anonymity said: "If this chap could put the Russkies into the fits, he would be devastating anywhere else.

"Put a funny hat on him, you likely would have a sort of political neutron bomb: all coherent thought would be impossible."

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