Surely we live in the end times, prophesied by Monty Python.
The original pilot episode of the Flying Circus (actually aired as the third episode) was titled "Whither Canada?" This was also the title of the final exercise for students at the National Defence College (NDC) at Fort Frontenac in Kingston, On. NDC was a year-long professional study program run by the Department of National Defence for up-and-coming military, naval and air officers, senior federal and provincial bureaucrats and civilian business leaders.
The idea was to bring together future leaders and let them examine Canada and the issues facing the country internally and externally. Students had to write papers outside their areas of expertise and the final exercise was a collection of essays on topics of the students choice built around the theme "Whither Canada?".
Maybe I am the only one who found the humour in that. It was a productive educational program at NDC. I happened to know a few of the students and directing staff (instructors). About 10 years ago, the NDC program fell victim to budget cuts and a commandant who proved more of a magnet for needless controversy than anything else. Something along the same lines has been recreated lately in Kingston and with hope and hard work it can produce the value the old NDC program delivered.
In the interests of full disclosure, I should point out that my company logo is a gryphon (pronounced like griffon), the symbol of NDC. I chose it for good reason since the gryphon is a heraldic symbol of knowledge, strength and vigilance.
That long introduction comes as a result of seeing a CBC story today about Prime Edward Island Premier Pat Binns. Eager to join the Galloping Gimme brigade, Premier Binns is asking Ottawa to exempt the island province's agricultural and tourism revenue from Equalization. CBC quotes Binns as saying that "those industries are special resources that Prince Edward Island has, on par with the offshore oil and gas revenues that landed deals worth more than $3 billion over eight years for his Newfoundland and Nova Scotian counterparts. " It's an attributed comment in the original, not a direct quote.
Now here's the part that just screams for Graham Chapman's Colonel character to stride onto the stage and order a halt to this evident nonsense among the premiers.
Let's point out some obvious differences between PEI potatoes and Anne of Green Gables on one side and offshore oil and gas on the other.
1. Two are renewable resources. Two are not. Non-renewable resources run out, Pat, therefore a province would like to make the most of the revenue while it can.
2. The Government of Canada actually owns two of them; it does not own the other two. [Hint: the federal government doesn't own anything with red hair.] Why should PEI bother with the federal government redistributing its own revenues. (see Ontario Navel Gazing for a clearer explanation) Ottawa doesn't try to tell Pat Binns where he can direct the French fry dollars.
3. The new offshore deals with Nova Scotia and Newfoundland and Labrador actually modify agreements dating back 20 years. The offsets were established under that deal and no one from anywhere else in the country objected back them. Besides, the new deals don't guarantee money in perpetuity and they reflect what most reasonable people would acknowledge are unique circumstances.
That's just three things that come readily to mind. There could be more.
But surely everyone can understand why I am waiting - perhaps in vain - for the next premiers conference to end with a rousing chorus of The Lumberjack Song. [<--Warning: MP3 link]