Grab a copy of The Independent this week and you will see a front page story about the paper being nominated for a Michener Award for journalistic achievement.
The nomination is for the six part yawner that was supposed to provide a cost-benefit analysis of Confederation with Canada for Newfoundland and Labrador. The series was widely criticized for its faulty (read as non-existent) methodology. The Globe smashed the basic premises to pieces in one single graphic obtained by calling up Statistics Canada; managing editor Ryan Cleary spent a lot of time whining about a lack of complete information.
Each week since the series first appeared the Indy ME has relentlessly reminded us of this Magnificent Achievement in Canadian Journalism (patent pending).
This week, as if we haven't seen it enough, Cleary's column recounts the entire saga for us yet again. (How many weeks is this on the self-promo best-seller list anyways? I blacked out weeks ago.) This week's twist: the supposed irony of "Canada" wanting to honour the Indy for its achievement towards separation.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, go check out the entry rules for the Michener. Turns out you get to nominate yourself for the award.
Turns out "Canada" doesn't want to nominate Cleary and the Indy for anything. Unless it is for best money shot in a gratuitous unrestricted display of auto-manipulation on a never-ending basis.
Turns out there are some facts the Indy doesn't want to tell you, contrary to Cleary's editorial boasts and some truths he doesn't think you can handle.
I thought public masturbation was against the law.
Turns out Ryan's Cleary's breathlessness from the page one story is entirely self-induced.
At least, the other nominees offered something substantive:
The Calgary Herald is up for coverage by a single reporter that took a year to produce. Compare that to Cleary's Crew numbering two or three less than the Telly - a daily - but constantly spoken of by Cleary as if there were two reporters, one of whom works part-time, and a blind guy who speaks no English, with a wooden leg and no arms who shows up once in a while to just help out.
The Mother Corp is up for a major investigation into adverse drug reaction reporting that led to something other than the yawns the Indy has induced in anyone other than hard core Newfoundland pseudo-nationalists.
The Canadian Medical Association Journal and Decouverte (Radio-Canada) are being considered based on their efforts in covering the Clostridium difficile outbreak in Montreal last year. (Psst Ryan: ever think of checking out cleanliness and infection control in local hospitals. Yes, I know it would break the flow of your columns to date, but at least it would be....ummm...what's the word? ....oh yeah.... NEWS.)
The Globe, otherwise known as Toronto's national newspaper, has two nominations. One is for a team from Report on Business into improper use of insurance and mutual funds. The other is for ongoing coverage of the Gomery Inquisition.
As for the Spindy, who do you think wrote this line from its nomination description? "...the newspaper's work was a significant contribution to the debate about equalization and Newfoundland and Labrador's place in Canada."
Would that there was another love that dare not speak its own name.