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23 April 2005

"Staggering" Insights from Bill Rowe

Surely you've heard the lame-ass commercials the Telly is running on VOCM. They feature the voice of one Bill Rowe, former pseudo-high commissioner, author, cabinet minister, Rhodes recipient, provincial Liberal leader, failed Tory candidate and experienced brown envelope tosser.

Bill is back, of course, and while he is soon to start another two-hour afternoon radio call-in show on VOCM, he also has a writing gig courtesy of the in-laws over at the Telly. Bill used to write for the Telly before, back when it was a Thompson rag.

Well, the copy-writer for the radio spot should be tossed out a window somewhere just for the sheer inanity of the stuff that winds up flowing from Bill's mouth.

If Bill wrote it himself, then Nancy Riche had the right idea by just skipping the column altogether last week and hopefully in the future.

Seems Bill has "staggering" insights, now that he has had the experience of living in Ottawa at taxpayers' expense and apparently doing little more than figuring out the OC Transpo schedule.

Well, read today's Rowe column and you'll think Bill's staggering insights have something to do with a 40 of Lamb's.

Bill posits the idea that either Messrs Tobin or Williams could be prime minister of Canada very soon.

Now that all the mainlanders have clicked off this posting, I'll go on for the benefit of the others.

Contrary to Bill Rowe's assertion, Frank Stronach did not pay Tobin $2.3 million in retirement because Frank is betting on Tobin being PM. He paid it out because it was in the employment contract.

Frank and Brian departed company under mysterious circumstances. There are reports, like Greg Locke's. And then there is the cryptic comment in a Globe report here.

Make up your own mind on the relationship between Belinda's dad and The Brian. Let's just say Tobin didn't leave on good terms with Frank.

So that makes Bill's insights staggering only so far as they appear to be poorly informed or the extent to which Rowe assumes his readers count on him for their information about the world. Here's a clue Bill: this isn't VOCM.

As for the spec on Danny Williams, that's almost as laughable as the stuff about Tobin. The only people talking about Danny Williams as a future prime minister are people on Danny's payroll, those who want to be on his payroll, people who used to be, or close friends of Danny's bud Brian Tobin who just want to help out a friend with some cheap publicity.

After all, Tobin is the past master of the speculation story that has a much substance as a helium-filled mylar balloon. Remember the gajillions he supposedly raised and the thousands of delegates he had...right before he bailed out of the Liberal leadership for lack of support? Mainland papers ran those stories from Tobin's agents because they didn't have the facts - Martin was sweeping every riding in Newfoundland and Labrador and Tobin's ham-fisted attempts to get at least one riding onside fell apart due to amateurish organization.

So Danny has learned a lesson from Brian. Big deal.

Bill Rowe has staggering insights alright.

Staggering for the absence of any passing acquaintance with reality.