Last week Conservative national caucus chairman Norm Doyle told CBC Radio that his party would be meeting today to decide whether or not they would force an election on the Canadian public
Doyle was trying desperately to make it sound like the Connies hadn't already decided to bring down the government. In fact that was something Norm said as plain as day - No decision has been made.
Well, the National Lampoon, unofficial propaganda organ of the CPC is saying something very different yet again this morning, as they did the same day Doyle was talking nonsense.
In the realm of bizarre metaphors, Peter MacKay is actually suggesting we should think dentistry when thinking election.
"Think of it as kind of root canal for the body politic, suggested Deputy Conservative Leader Peter MacKay.
"An election may be something like a visit to the dentist: it may not be something you want to do, but something you have to do," MacKay said in an interview broadcast Sunday on CBC Newsworld.
Thanks Peter.
Now it is all making sense to me.
The House of Commons has become the Little House of Horrors. The giant plant intent on eating anything in sight is, of course, the Conservative Party. Seymour Krelborne, the nebbishy guy who must feed the plant from outer space on human flesh is none other than CPC Leader Stephen Harper.
The deputy Conservative leader is actually one Orin Scrivello, DDS, not Peter MacKay as it has seemed all along.
That would make Norm Doyle perhaps Mr. Mushnik, the lovable plant shop owner.
Sadly, Mr. Mushnik gets eaten.
But the plant had an insatiable appetite for blood, as I recall, and Seymour was prepared to feed anyone to it because the plant brought him power.
Ok.
So much for fun.
The real point here is simple: someone within the CPC needs to get a grip on some of their wingnuts, like MacKay.
Who in their right freakin' mind would tell a Canadian public that already doesn't want an election, that having an election is just really like a root canal?
I can only wait for the TV spots: Steve slapping on latex and telling us all to turn our heads to the right and cough.