Here's the release with my comments and notations, as appropriate. Try to keep a straight face as you go through it. I had a hard time doing it and I like retired zipperheads. Really I do.
LABRADOR WILL HAVE RESOURCES NEEDED TO CREATE NEW JOBS AND FOSTER ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT UNDER A STEPHEN HARPER GOVERNMENT, SAYS O'CONNOR
For immediate release: Saturday, May 14, 2005
HAPPY-VALLEY GOOSE BAY -- Today, Gordon O'Connor, MP for Carleton Mississippi Mills and Official Opposition Critic for National Defence visited the Graham Letto campaign in Happy-Valley Goose Bay and made an important announcement regarding how a Conservative government led by Stephen Harper would treat several issues critical to the future economic growth and prosperity of Labrador and its communities.
O'Connor said, "The people of Labrador have told us they are tired of lip service and tokenism and the Conservative Party of Canada is listening. There is a yearning in the land for integrity, leadership and a new direction. A Conservative Government led by Stephen Harper will put decision making power back in your hands so that the people of Labrador can create new jobs, and foster economic development."
Comment: The CPC may be listening but they ain't hearing much based on the lip service Labrador voter's backsides pick up in this release.
O'Connor announced that a Conservative government led by Stephen Harper would:
- Renegotiate the revenues sharing from Voisey's Bay.
Comment: Gordo has been banging his brain housing group inside a tank without proper headgear obviously. The federal government has no revenue sharing arrangement to renegotiate. Everyone in Labrador knows this.
Either Gordo is telling a giant fib or the CPC research bureau is full of stupid people or most likely scenario: Gordo is telling us that the CPC government would be resurrecting its plan to remove nonrenewable resources from Equalization.
Kiss the offshore deal goodbye, ladies and gentlemen.
- Share in the completion of the Trans-Labrador Highway.
Comment: It's been years coming and the federal government has already committed to this. See Andrew Coyne for a further discussion of how the CPC will be all the things the Liberals are when it comes to spending without being Liberals. Why buy a fake Liberal when the real one is already there?
- Help develop the Lower Churchill Falls as a power source.
Comment: The PM already made that commitment this time last year and repeated it several times. The only hang up has been that the Williams government was temporarily sidetracked with other issues.
- Ratify the Inuit land claims agreement.
Comment: Thanks for nothing Gordo. The deal is already signed. All someone needs to do is put it through the House. Oh. But wait. The Labrador Inuit would have to wait at least a year - just like Harper said about the offshore - in order to see their land claim finally settled. The reason? Stephen Harper needs to be Prime Minister before anything else happens.
- Ensure the employment at CFB Goose Bay does not decline. Comment: How? No answer. This sounds like both Conservative lips are servicing fully.
- Encourage increased flying training operations at CFB Goose Bay. Comment: We can "encourage" 'til the cows come home. The allies don't need to train at Goose, so the Connie promise is meaningless.
- Establish a Regular Force rapid reaction army battalion at CFB Goose Bay. Comment: Gordo the retired tank driver didn't promise to base a tank regiment in Goose Bay. (He still wants to get invited to armoured corps functions, after all.)
So instead he promises an infantry battalion, and a rapid-reaction one at that.
Small problem for Gordo. Where is the battalion going to come from? Valcartier? Gagetown? Petawawa? Winnipeg? Edmonton?
If they don't come up with some cockamamie idea of doubling the size of the army and making a whole new battalion (Hint for Gordo - DND has recruiting problems), I'll venture the battalion will be relocated from the one place where the Connies don't have to worry about losing votes by shifting millions of dollars and hundreds of jobs from a base. I am talking Valcartier.
The Vandoos hit Goose Bay.
Newfoundland and Labrador nationalists start sweating.
Film at 11.
Oh. There's another small problem. The army doesn't have plans for a rapid-reaction battalion, whatever that is supposed to be. The new formation being created as an adjunct to Joint Task Force 2 needs to be close to the main guys, so I am guessing they will be in Petawawa.
- Establish an Unmanned Aerial Vehicle Squadron at CFB Goose Bay. Comment: Five big bucks says this already on the drawing board. UAVs were already trialed at Goose. A small presence is needed to give support to the UAVs doing coastal patrols. A squadron sounds about right.
-30-
As a public relations professional, I just love news releases that tell people they are tired of bulls**** and then spew cow manure instead.
Gord O'Connor.
Loaded the charge.
Forgot the sabot round.
Ask a tank guy what happens when the commander yells "Fire!" in that case.
Big noise.
Bright flash.
F*** all else.
Gord O'Connor.
Loaded the charge.
Forgot the sabot round.
Ask a tank guy what happens when the commander yells "Fire!" in that case.
Big noise.
Bright flash.
F*** all else.