Pages

01 February 2006

There are 30 million reasons to miss Tobin. What's yours?

Some of us will be mourning Brian Tobin's decision to stay out of politics but not for the reasons his old party pres gave to local CBC Radio this morning as he waxed nostalgic about the glory days of the Second Brian.

Nope.

1. Some of us will be missing Tobin's ability to ramble through a media interview and take every conceivable position on a subject without actually taking one.

2. Some of us will miss his "Conversations with the Premier" on one local radio station. The things were a blatant rip-off of something Joe Smallwood used to do. But as one person said, the guy who stuck the mike in Smallwood's face got the chance to ask questions.

3. Some of us will miss Tobin's petulant - read childishly temperamental - attacks on reporters for asking simple, legitimate questions.

Like his long-talked about call to one reporter in which Tobin, upset that the reporter's story on outmigration didn't match Tobin's optimistic bullshit, commented negatively on the size of said reporter's family jewels.

Reputedly the reporter has the call on tape.

4. Some of us will miss incidents like the one in which the deceptively soft-spoken Ramona Dearing, hosting the CBC Radio Morning Show call-in, stood toe-to-toe with the biggest bullyboy blowhard in town until he backed off.

5. Some of us will miss major items of public policy made up in the back of the car as Tobin was being driven somewhere to deliver a speech.

I used to keep a quote from Tobin on my wall. It said something like "Public policy is not made at the drop of a hat; it comes after careful deliberation." He said that in the House of Assembly right after announcing a policy he had just that moment pulled from a pronounced bodily orifice.

6. Some of us will miss his fetishistic attachment to the words "quite frankly", "at the end of the day" and "in the fullness of time". They are hollow, empty, meaningless, space-fillers.

7. Some of us will miss the $57 million bucks in public money Tobin arranged to get from his buddy, hydro board chairman Dean MacDonald, to run something called the Lower Churchill project office. The money was never properly accounted for but the stuff that has been publicized showed a pattern of gross waste and no concern for cost. The money was spent at the direction of the Premier's Office and was accounted for neither to the House of Assembly nor, apparently, to the Newfoundland and Labrador Hydro board of directors.

8. Some of us will miss Captain Canada and the Montreal Rally to Save Canada. Hmmm. Something else pulled from an orifice.

9. Some of us will miss the Turbot War, or as it would be more accurately be remembered: the Great Tobin Crusade for International Media Attention for Himself. That had to be the name for it, since the overfishing continues despite all the hype at the time.

10. Some of us will miss Tobin claiming in 1990 that he was Clyde Wells' secret constitutional advisor. Some of us will really remember the high-level phone call in which it was pointed out that either the bullshit stopped or Wells would sort the matter out...publicly.

The bullshit stopped.

11. Well, at least some of the bullshit stopped. Some of us will miss Tobin insisting straight-faced to Doug Letto that he intended to complete his second term, less than 18 months before he bailed out to go to the job everyone knew he wanted - one in Ottawa as a stepping stone to replacing Chretien.

Ah yes.

Many of us will miss the chance to have Brian Tobin back in politics.

We all have different reasons.

What are yours?

Send your Tobin story and we'll post the best.