Walter Noel is becoming something of a legend as a political pyromaniac.
He's seems intent on constantly setting fire to himself or, to be accurate, the smoldering remains of his political reputation.
His staunch defense of spending his constituency cash on gifts of perfume, crystal and clothing serves as gasoline which Noel insists on pouring over himself throughout this campaign.
He'll happily splash anyone else within reach, as well, as he did this week with both his opponent Jack Harris and his fellow Liberal candidate Judy Foote. Those two have been able to douse any fires with simple, straightforward explanations.
The problem for Noel - and the flamethrower he brings to his self-roasting - is his repeated excuse that his spending was within the rules and approved by the "highest officials of the House of Assembly."
Sure, Walter.
We already know the "rules" were all but non-existent and one of those "highest" officials is currently facing criminal charges.
Noel has even gone so far as to claim his bone-headed actions in defended the misspending are brave or some such bit of silliness.
Well, the flames were barely fading from his latest round of bravery when the Telegram dutifully reminded everyone in the Saturday edition that Noel managed to blow an entire year's worth of public money in a single six month spree between April and October 2003. The genesis of this latest story was a news release Noel issued defending himself on the whole issue which itself resulted from some other media story generated by yet another brave defence by Noel
Amazing.
Noel's top expense that year was advertising: $3,261. He spent nearly $2,950 on over 50 restaurant and food claims - an average of about two per week. Brochures cost Noel just over $2,000; donations, nearly $1,800 more. Noel was also reimbursed for $1,367 in alcohol-only purchases at liquor stores.
Bear in mind that at the time Noel was a provincial cabinet minister with access to another sizeable expense account. We can only wait for the juicy revelations that come from the Telegram's investigation of that spending as well.
In itself, the spending is something voters might possibly have been able to get over in time. Noel's repeated use of what amounts to easily refutable excuses - the "highest officials" crap - calls into question his judgment.
And his vehemence doesn't just make one a little uncomfortable.
Coupled with his ludicrous plan to study building a tunnel to Bell Island, his unsubstantiated claims about his part in the 2004/05 offshore transfer deal, his pseudo-separatist dalliances, and his ranting about the "socialist" hordes in the New Democratic Party and their overspending way, his repeated defence of his own overspending suggests Noel is completely out of touch with anything vaguely resembling reality, political or otherwise.
Three things follow from all this:
First, the Liberal Party in Newfoundland and Labrador needs to tighten up its candidate vetting process and candidate selection process. Big time.
Second, Noel's political future is deader than dead to the point that his vote count in this federal election might wind up being barely above his 1974 first effort. Incidentally, that's when he ran on behalf of the "socialist" hordes.
Third, Noel's only political value to this race - and it is sad to see it happen - is to give the only bit of light entertainment to a race otherwise made boring now that Danny Williams has abandoned his Family Feud campaign entirely.
If Noel wants to keep setting his own political ass on fire, there's not much any of us can do except sit back and shake our heads.
Oh, yes.
And maybe next time we can make s'mores.
That's about the only way Noel's candidacy can be said to have contributed anything to the current election.
-srbp-