05 January 2006

Local Connie TV script leaked

Following is the script for television commercial Connie candidate Loyola Hearn is expected to release next week.

Norm Doyle has Danny Williams.

Loyola Hearn can't get him for some reason.

But anyway, here's the script with a vidcap.

[Two Loyolas. Standing side by side. They begin to read, obviously read from a TelePrompter]

Loyola: Hi, I'm Loyola.

Loyola: And I'm Loyola.

Loyola: We are so much alike we could be brothers.

Loyola: We are so close we could be partners.

Loyola: Umm... Be careful, Loyola. Not that kind of partners.

Loyola: No. Not that kind of partners. Not that there's anything wrong with that of course.

[awkward silence. Loyolas look around]

Loyola: Anyway...

Loyola: Anyway. Let's just say we've always been close on everything we do.

Loyola: And that's why I am here to tell you that without Loyola we could never have gotten all that money from Ottawa last year.

Loyola: That's right. Loyola. Loyola worked day and night attending meetings and speaking out with a strong voice to make sure we got what we deserved.

Loyola: and that's why I am supporting Loyola in St. John's South-Mount Pearl.

Loyola: That's right. I am supporting Loyola in St. John's South-Mount Pearl.

Loyola: So on January 23rd vote for me.

Loyola: No. On January 23rd vote for me.

Loyolas: [laughing in a fake, forced kind of way.] See. Even we can't tell each other apart.

Voice over: Authorized by the official agent for Loyola.

[Graphic: Vote Loyola. Or Loyola. One of them anyway. You pick.]

Note for Liam: This is a joke and should no way be taken to suggest that either Loyola or Loyola is actually planning something as cheesy as advertising in which people endorse Loyola reading awkwardly from a script.

Note for Chuck and Steve: Relax. Just remember: Loyola only bucked the party line once. he voted to bring down the government and with it the offshore money. He also voted against equal marriage.