11 August 2011

If Rick Hillier really runs for Liberal leader… #nlpoli

For those who may have missed it, CBC’s David Cochrane @cochranecbcnl tweeted on Wednesday that retired chief of defence staff Rick Hillier is in newfoundland and Labrador, talking to “senior Liberals”, and looking at a run at the Liberal leader’s job.

Here are the relevant tweets:

David Cochrane CochraneCBCNL David Cochrane

Breaking: CBC News has learned that Rick Hillier is considering a run for the Liberal leadership.

David Cochrane CochraneCBCNL David Cochrane

The former chief of defence staff is in NL. Sources say that Hillier is seeking advice from senior Liberals on a possible leadership bid.

David CochraneCochraneCBCNL David Cochrane

Hillier isn't a lock to enter the race. But a source describes Hillier's interest as "quite serious."

So that started your humble e-scribbler thinking.

If Rick Hillier really runs for Liberal leader…

  • All the other candidates will drop out instantly.
  • The number of people considering a run will suddenly hit zero. 
  • You will have to set up barbed wire and post guards to control the flood of Tories crossing the floor to the Liberals.
  • Plans for a Danny Williams statue will surge ahead as competition ends to see who will get the coveted position  kissing his ass.
  • Kathy Dunderdale will crap diamonds…
  • and then join the stampede.
  • Tony Ducey will cry.
  • Marjorie will call Randy Simms to talk about how proud she is of Rick and always knew he’d come home, but that he is is still no Danny Williams.
  • Gerry Byrne will call Open Line to suggest the election be held the day after Hillier is installed as leader.
  • Gus Etchegary will be waiting on the line to complain that Hillier knows nothing about the fishery.
  • Still not getting the joke, Ryan Cleary will post to Facebook asking Hillier if he’d help Jack off a horse.
  • NDP twittermaniacs will retweet about the latest NDP nomination call…
  • and run like a scalded cat from any reminders that they and outgoing NDP leader Lorraine Michael support Dunderdale’s plan to double electricity rates for people on low and fixed incomes (and everyone else while they’re at it) while delivering discount power to Nova Scotians.
  • CRA’s August poll results will show support for the Liberals remains at record lows.
  • Bill Rowe will start off NightLine with reminiscences of all the times he met Hillier at receptions in Ottawa while Bill was Danny Williams’ ambassador to Ottawa and had to wait for someone in Danny Williams office to ship up his used snow tires, find him a cell phone to use and buy a laptop at Best Buy. Then Rowe will plug his own insider account of stuff he was outside the room for.
  • The local commentariat on twitter and in the online comments section of any website will remind everyone that the Liberal party is in disarray, has a huge debt, can’t find volunteers or candidates so the election result isn’t likely to change from earlier predictions of a sweep by the incumbent party, as if those things never happened before in local politics.*
  • One year into Hillier’s term, the local commentariat will be talking about disarray and dysfunction in the Tory party, its debt problems, lack of volunteers and inability to find a leader as if those things never happened in local politics before.  
  • You will not be able to find anyone – not a single living human being – who will admit to having ever voted Tory in their lives.

- srbp -

*  edit to make the point clearer that these things are in fact a function of being an “out’ party” versus an “in” party.