How to make The Telegram better #nlpoli

• Tony Collins

• Bill Rowe

• Lana Payne

• Bob Wakeham

Follow the pattern.

-srbp-

Policy and sausages #nlpoli

People like to think the world we live in is run by some sort of magically rational process and the folks in charge are all much smarter than the rest of us.

This brief sketch from an early Simon Pegg television series is actually much closer to the reality some times than any of us would care to admit.



So just enjoy the humour in it.

Under no circumstances should anyone imagine that similar conversations have happened over the past six years about things like frazzle ice, cofferdams, electricity prices, or the 1969 power contract.

No.

Because that would involve both the minister and the official being complete dullards and everyone knows that could never happen.

-srbp-

Tree Politics #nlpoli

From your humble e-scribbler's yard,  the province's political parties as revealed by trees.


First, we have the Conservative Party.

Knows it's a tree

Lots of branches down below.   Up at the top, a few little shoots who some times look like they are on top.

The truth:  no matter what it looks like, there remains only  One True Leader.

Second, we have the Liberal Party.

Knows it's a tree.

Lots of branches down below.

But a bit of a mess up on top with a  bunch of different branches trying to be the leader.

Third, and last, is the New Democratic Party.

The same tree as the rest,  just a lot smaller, and a bit heavy on one side.

Thinks it's a rose bush.

-srbp-

Language Problems #nlpoli

“Increasing taxes is not about solving the deficit, it’s about maintaining our programs and services that we have.”

That’s what Labrador and aboriginal affairs minister Keith Russell told the handful of people who showed up for the government’s pre-budget consultation in Happy Valley-Goose Bay.

The Conservatives are perturbed that the turnout for these sessions has been small.  Part of the problem was the tight timeline:  they only announced the dates last week and started the first session on Monday.  Another part of the problem is that everyone knows that the things are a farce. They aren’t interested in wasting their time.

People should turn out to these things, though, if only for the entertainment they offer,  not to mention the practicality of it.

“Independent” Review #darknl #nlpoli

-srbp-

Danny to fire publicists? #nlpoli

Someone organized a stunt designed solely to gain publicity and no one invited the Old Mullet Hisself to huff and puff and pose for the cameras.

Clearly, the people handling Hisself’s publicity should be fired.

S-H-O-T.

Fired.

Frankly <shoulder twitch>  I gotta tell ya.

</eyeroll>

-srbp-

Mr. Speaker, Mr. Speaker … #nlpoli

The Telegram noticed:

By the end of question period on Tuesday, only an hour or so in, the words “Mr. Speaker” had been uttered 142 times. One of the worst offenders? Premier Kathy Dunderdale answered 11 questions that day, with 31 “Mr. Speakers,” including lines like “Thank you, Mr. Speaker. Mr. Speaker, the Leader of the Opposition has a terrible time with facts. He really does, Mr. Speaker, because I certainly do not mind at any time in this House or anywhere else having a debate upon the facts.”

There is even a tee shirt.

 

-srbp-

Who farted? #nlpoli

Finance minister Jerome Kennedy took his budget “consultation” roadshow to Corner Brook the other day.  Former finance minister Tom Marshall showed up to help.  Tom has run more than a few of these farces so he could lend a hand if things got tough.

Well, all that was one thing.

The other thing is the way the video freezes in the online CBC story on the “consultation” in Corner Brook. 

Too amazing to believe #nlpoli

Every day in Newfoundland and Labrador, the news is like some kind of perpetual, live edition of Ripley’s Believe it or Not. 

Here’s a sample of what your humble e-scribbler learned on a sick day:

Why would a member of parliament visit his own riding?  Only in Newfoundland.  Or in this case Labrador.

A mayor wants people with money to come to his city and invest it!  The truth is really stranger than fiction.

Politics in Newfoundland and Labrador involves lots of patronage.  Freaky, man, even if the CBC online story doesn’t actually give any kind of back story to it.

-srbp-

Conservative Rorschach Test: Part Four #nlpoli

“Pegasus Flying From Quebec”

 

-srbp-

Conservative Rorschach Test: Part Three #nlpoli

“Two Quebeckers”

 

-srbp-

Conservative Rorschach Test: Part Two #nlpoli

 

“The NDP”

 

-srbp-

Conservative Rorschach Test: Part One #nlpoli

“Quebec”

 

-srbp-

The Steve Kent Rule #nlpoli

The MFers seem to be testy these days.

They like to challenge people who aren’t keen on Muskrat Falls about something called facts.

Facts, as you will quickly discover, are what the MFers call anything Nalcor has used in its marketing campaign to sell the project.

Things that Nalcor doesn’t include in its marketing are not “facts” for the people who love Muskrat Falls.

Small problem

If they don’t stop it, we’ll go blind #nlpoli

You have to wonder sometimes how far Tory politicians will go to issue a good news comment of some kind during the time when the government pollster is in the field.

They are the only ones who do this, apparently, as part of the Tories’ organized effort to skew public opinion polls and then crow about the adulterated results.

Anyway, this is a two part example of the lengths to which the quarterly orgy of public onanism goes sometimes.

Common sense – the rarest element #nlpoli

There’s a tee-shirt. 

This one is from zazzle

And it is true.

Common sense is so rare these days it should be classified as a super power.

It would be subject to the Roommate Agreement’s friendship rider.

Just sayin’.

- srbp -

Muskrat Falls: The Kennedy Tweets #nlpoli #cdnpoli

Here’s a string of tweets from natural resources minister Jerome Kennedy on Friday night:

Jerome Kennedy @jerome_kennedy
Let me try and simplify Muskrat Falls. First question, do we(NL) need the power? If yes, then question # 2,what are we going to do about it? 

Jerome Kennedy @jerome_kennedy
MF cont'd. If we need the power what are our options: Muskrat Falls, refurbish Holyrood with small hydro and wind,Gull Island,or do nothing. 

Jerome Kennedy @jerome_kennedy
MF cont'd. Gull island is not an option at present. To do nothing is not an option. So, do we do Muskrat Falls or refurbish Holyrood. 

Jerome Kennedy @jerome_kennedy
MF cont'd. Nalcor argues that MF is $2.2B cheaper than Holyrood.Manitoba Hydro will examine this question and they are independent of govt. 

Jerome Kennedy @jerome_kennedy
The cost of oil makes Holyrood so expensive. At peak it burns 18,000 barrels of oil per day. Experts tell us that oil will continue to rise 

Jerome Kennedy @jerome_kennedy
Why the cost of oil will continue to rise-not enough supply to meet demand, activities in the Middle East and growth in China. Makes sense. 

Jerome Kennedy @jerome_kennedy
MF cont'd. Cost of fixing up Holyrood is $600M. Forecasted cost of oil between 2017-36 is more that $7B.Hydro avoids the volatility of oil.

And then came this one:

Mark Watton @mark_watton
@jerome_kennedy You know, if the House were sitting, you could do this using more than 140 characters at a time. #nlpoli in reply to @jerome_kennedy

Followed by complete silence from the minister.

Interesting synopsis of the government argument, though.  Interesting because of what it leaves out.
There’ll be more from SRBP in the days ahead.

- srbp -

More Tweets Update:

Jerome Kennedy @jerome_kennedy
MF cont'd(No.8) - Environmental benefits - Closing Holyrood is the equivalent of taking 300,000 cars off the road.Reduces GHGs by 1M tons/yr.

Jerome Kennedy @jerome_kennedy
MF cont'd (No.9) - Economic Benefits- peak employment of 2700. Job preference to Labradorians. Billions in income and taxes .Little talk of this.

And yet more tweets (Jan 22):

MF No.10 - Power rates continue to rise due to the price of oil. Critics argue that rates will double because of MF.This is simply not true. 

MF No.11-The average ratepayer will pay $217 monthly in 2016,pre-Muskrat.This is projected to rise to $232 in 2017 when MF starts up (▲$15). 

MF No.12-With Muskrat Falls the average user's rates are projected to go up from $232/mth to $246/mth between 2017-30. Rates will rise $14. 

MF No.13-Without Muskrat rates are projected to go up $57 between 2017-30,as compared to $14 with Muskrat.MF will stabilze [sic] and reduce rates.

Et maintenant, le deluge…

In his regular column in the Wednesday edition, Telegram editor Peter Jackson succinctly explains why Kathy Dunderdale’s Muskrat Falls scheme is a very bad idea:

Reading the review panel’s comments, one comes to the conclusion that the rationalization for the project is circular. The Muskrat project is a given, and the statistics that are gathered only justify its existence. Statistics that fall outside the project — that of alternative sources — are sparse and poorly developed.

And simple considerations — like the impact on consumption of the trend towards energy efficiency — are ignored.

Jackson hits the nail squarely on the head in every respect, including his warning that the whole thing could cost us very dearly if the assumptions on which the project is based on turn out to be junk.

Verily, these must be the end times foretold by prophecy.

Well, by prophecy or the words muttered last fall as someone scurried out the Confederation Building side door:

“Apres moi, le deluge…”

Stand by to get your feet damp.

- srbp -

Sucker bet: windy moose version

The guy who did such a bang-up job of looking after the Hurricane Igor disaster is now the guy leading the fight against moose-vehicle collisions.

Anyone care to wager on the prospects for success on that one?

- srbp -

Quentin Jurgens he ain’t

Bloc NDP member of parliament Ryan Cleary had the chance to make his first remarks to the House of Commons on Monday.

He didn’t speak about anything of concern to any of constituents.

There wasn’t even a reference to his pet project, namely having taxpayers fund an investigation into something everyone else knows but which Ryan can’t figure out.  He wants to know what happened to the fish.  Hint:  a whole bunch of people – including Newfoundlanders and Labradorians – fished cod to near extinction.

All Ryan needs to do is ask his old pal Gus Etchegary some of those hard journalist type questions Ryan supposedly likes to ask.  Maybe, for once, Etch – e - sketch won’t give one of his usually sketchy answers.  maybe under some of Ryan’s penetrating cross examination Gus will explain how Gus’ company, like so many others, high-graded and otherwise fished illegally until their were no fish left to catch.

In any event, after thanking his constituents for having the good sense to elect him, Cleary felt the need to let everyone know that this is all about him:

For the first time since Confederation in 1949, Newfoundland and
Labrador is represented by two New Democrat MPs in this esteemed
Chamber. We may not have the raw MP numbers of the other provinces, but the way I like to see it, the member for St. John's East and I make up for it by being from Newfoundland and Labrador.

You can practically feel the methane alarms going off in the chamber as the fart clouds gather.

Then he started in on the pitcher plant that adorns a stained glass window in the Commons.

The stained glass window also faces toward Newfoundland
and Labrador. I ask members to look to the pitcher plant when they
speak of my province. But be warned,   the --

Yes, they’ve been warned.

Of what exactly no one is sure, but there you have it.

A warning.

Probably a warning to watch out for the next time he takes to his hind legs to have at the art work in the Railway Committee room. 

No Newfie Bullet, you see.

By the by, the sentence ends rather abruptly for one simple reason:  The Speaker just cut to the next member of the House.

Now before the tin-foil hat brigade takes up arms, let’s understand something they likely covered in noob MP school on the Hill.

These statements have a time limit on them.  Members get cut off no matter where in their drone they are.  Those familiar with Cleary’s august radio hosting career will likely already understand what happened here.

The idea is to get in. 

Make the point. 

Get out.

Cleary’s ace journalistic skills should make him good at that.

Well, apparently not.

And thus ended the honourable noob’s maiden comments in the House of Commons.

We can only look forward to the next instalment.

- srbp -